To all the promises you never kept

I am somewhere between laughing and crying. First, I don’t want to believe it. But, if it is really happening then it is funny. It was just two weeks ago, only two weeks ago, that he told me he’ll be there for me always. And that he’s got my back forever. It’s funny that I actually believed him. Humans die right? So, how can there even be ‘forever in our numbered days’?

As for my mother, she is a wreck. She has cried so hard that she can’t cry anymore and now she’s wheezing. It’s like she can’t breathe. She is sitting on the floor with her hair in a mess, tears in her eyes, legs apart, and arms on her chest. She is just there on the floor of the compound, still in her nightie and staring at the gate. It’s as if she’s hoping that he’ll change his mind and come back or at least return for something he forgot so that we can see him one more time. Maybe one more time will be nice.

My little sister, well, she doesn’t understand what’s going on. She even waved him goodbye, thinking that today is like all the other days. Those pretentious old days when he would give us goodbye hugs before rushing to catch his supposed ‘flight’. This time around he didn’t wave her back. She isn’t bothered though. Kukua just went back to playing with her toy cooking set, leaves and soil. She said she is cooking rice to make mummy’s chest better. Usually when mother is crying like this, it scares her and she cries too.  But now, we have seen her crying a lot of times that we are almost used to it. Almost.

I’m not going to shed these tears. Nope. He’s not worth even the salt in them. Besides, someone needs to be strong for mother right? Even though, I’m trying to convince myself that he deserves to be hated, I can’t hate the man who drove all night from Cape Coast to Accra to see me sing in church. I remember how he took us to the restaurant beside the filling station to celebrate “his daughter’s first grand performance”. Now it’s just a memory. It’s amazing how people change. Hm.

As for the other woman, she’s done well. And my baby stepbrothers, I guess it’s not their fault. Maame Nyarkoa must be way better than mother in everything. I wonder how it feels to have your boss marry your husband and give him double the son you couldn’t give him. Twins. So, to all the promises Kwabena Agyemang Boateng couldn’t keep, I hope you wake him up every morning with nightmares of the family he abandoned.

Stay alive!

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